jabberwockypie:

jabberwockypie:

kaijuno:

kittykattaffy:

kaijuno:

Yeah, that doesn’t prevent pregnancy.

Dfgajagakala it’s so you don’t get a UTI 😂

*facepalm* So, given that sex ed in the US is a tire fire:

Vagina-having people have a shorter urethra, which means we’re more prone to UTIs because the bacteria doesn’t have to travel as far to get up into your bladder and cause a problem.

Which means if you’re exposing your bits to bacteria (as with sex), peeing will flush out bacteria in the urethra. (Urine isn’t actually sterile - that’s a myth - but you’re *supposed to* have a little bit of bacteria - that’s how bodies work. But it still flushes things out that shouldn’t be there.)

Oh! You should ALSO pee after you masturbate, especially if it involves penetration with fingers/toys/etc

So I’ve blocked like five transphobes on this post, which I feel should have been relatively uncontroversial.

If you’re one of the people saying “You meant ‘women’”, fuck you. I meant “people who have a vagina, regardless of their gender or lack thereof”, and you can go fuck yourself with a cactus.

And you should pee afterward, so you don’t get a UTI.

(via keltaithecrafty)

10 minutes ago  /  200,681 notes

rhysiana:

Here’s the truth: if this website collapses too, I will never know when a show has finally come out, because I won’t suddenly see new gifs from it.

(via vincentghost)

14 minutes ago  /  3,421 notes

regenderate:

mosquitogirl:

penises are soft, excerpt from fucking trans women #0 by mira bellwether

[image description: two screenshots from collage-style zine pages.

the first page has a box of text next to a labeled diagram of a cross-section of a penis and scrotum. text reads as follows:

#3: Penises are soft. I can’t say this enough because it is such an important and frequently ignored fact: most of the time a biological penis is neither rock-hard nor an inflexible rod. They’re not supposed to be. The natural, resting state of the penis is soft. Unsolicited erections happen relatively infrequently after the teen years and voluntary boners appear in the dictionary under the entry “diminishing returns.” most penises could never compete with a good dildo on hardness. And those that go the distance are putting themselves at long-term risk: erections that last longer than an hour or so without interruption can cause permanent damage to the vascular system of the penis. We know both statistically and anecdotally that penises are far from permanently-engorged crotch-rocks, and yet almost all sexual discourse on penises is on erect penises, hard penises, penetrating penises.

the second page is all text. the text reads as follows:

Why is this significant? Because the operating assumption in our culture is that only hard penises can have sex, that soft penises can’t have sex and aren’t sexy. This is deeply, deeply incorrect.

The major difference between a soft penis and a hard penis isn’t whether it can have sex, not whether it can give and receive pleasure, only whether it is hard and can penetrate. That’s it. That’s the difference. Hardness. And yet there is almost no writing about sex and soft penises except about how to “fix” them by making them hard. It’s hard, so to speak, for us to seriously consider the concept of sex with a soft penis because we’ve been indoctrinated to laugh at the idea. Penises are supposed to be hard, penetrating organs, and definitely not sexy when soft. It’s not very fashionable to talk about phallocentrism these days, but I can’t think of a better word for the assumption that someone’s private parts are useless because they’re not hard and, well, phallic.

To put it simply, this is stupid. It’s stupid to keep acting like penises are worthless when they are soft, whether that softness lasts a day or six years. We are smarter than that, and it is time to start acting like it. We owe it to the penises in our communities to start playing with them and pleasuring them when they’re soft. I think it’s a particularly good idea to do this because soft penises are a lot of fun that we’re not having, for no good reason.

Contrary to popular belief, a soft penis is not a “Do Not Disturb” sign. Neither is it an accurate indicator of someone’s interest, mood, energy level, or libido. Boners are fickle. Sometimes it’s not in the cards. Then again, sometimes a boner just happens and the only thing on your mind is how much you don’t feel like having one. Your lover-with-a-penis could be counting the seconds until they can get you alone and do filthy, unspeakable things to you and their penis might not so much as twitch. If your lover is a trans woman, there’s a rock-solid chance that this happens all the time. There’s an equally good chance that it never happens at all. For some of us on testosterone blockers no force in the world could summon an erection. For others there’s an impact, and for some there’s almost no change whatsoever.

Regardless of how often you have one on your hands, a soft penis doesn’t need to be anything other than an opportunity to find out what else it can do besides fill up with blood and poke things.

end image description.]

(via keltaithecrafty)

15 minutes ago  /  3,647 notes

theshehulkproject:

tackedtothewall:

rivertalesien:

loverofmythology:

abz-j-harding:

kaimaciel:

blondegingersaxon:

copperbadge:

ceescedasticity:

iguana-sneeze:

marzipanandminutiae:

derinthemadscientist:

bedlamsbard:

burntcopper:

meduseld:

penroseparticle:

My favorite thing is that Europe is spooky because it’s old and America is spooky because it’s big

“The difference between America and England is that Americans think 100 years is a long time, while the English think 100 miles is a long way.” –Earle Hitchner

A fave of mine was always the american tales where people freaked out because ‘someone died in this house’ and all the europeans would go ‘…Yes? That would be pretty much every house over 40 years old.’

‘…My school is older than your entire town.’

‘Sorry, you think *how far* is okay to travel for a shopping trip?’

*American looks up at the beams in a country pub* ‘Uh, this place has woodworm, isn’t that a bit unsafe?’ ‘Eh, the woodworm’s 400 years old, it’s holding those beams together.’

A few years ago when I was in college I did a summer program at Cambridge aimed specifically at Americans and Canadians, and my year it was all Americans and one Australian.  We ended the program with a week in Wessex, and on the last day as we all piled onto the bus in Salisbury (or Bath? I can’t remember), the professors went to the front to warn us that we wouldn’t be making any stops unless absolutely necessary.  We’re headed to Heathrow to drop off anyone flying off the same day, then back to Cambridge.

“All right, it’s going to be a long bus ride, so make sure you’re prepared for that.”

We all brace ourselves.  A long bus ride?  How long?  We’re Americans; a long bus ride for us is a minimum of six hours with the double digits perfectly plausible.  We can handle a twelve hour bus ride as long as we get a bathroom break.

The answer.  “Two hours.”

Oh.

English people trying to travel around Australia and wildly underestimating distance are my favourite thing

a tour guide in France told my school group that a particular cathedral wouldn’t interest us much because “it’s not very old; only from the early 1600s”

to which we had to respond that it was still older than the oldest surviving European-style buildings in our country

China is both old and big. I had some Chinese colleagues over; we were discussing whether they wanted to see the Vasa ship (hugely expensive war ship which sank on it’s maiden voyage after 12 min). They asked if it was old, I said “not THAT old” (bearing in mind they were Chinese) “it’s from the 1500s.” To my surprise they still looked impressed, nodding enthusiatically. Then I realised I’d forgotten something: “…I mean it’s from the 1500s AFTER the birth of Christ” and they went “oh, AFTER…”.

My dad’s favorite quote from various tours in Italy was “Pay no attention to the tower – it was a [scornful tone]

tenth century addition.”

My last boss was Chinese, and she said when her parents came to visit her from Beijing they pronounced Chicago “A very nice village.” 

This post keeps getting better

European problems include:

- Missing a turn and now you need to cross the border;

- Towns built 500 to 800 years ago with really small roads where cars can barely fit;

- That road/parking lot/etc they were building is gonna take twice the time to finish because they found Roman ruins AGAIN!

European problems extended: 

 WW2 bombs.

I love this post but also hate it because people never acknowledge the structures of native and indigenous people in America and Canada. We literally have pyramids here in Illinois that are thousands of years old.

There is stuff here from the Aztecs, but since it wasn’t made by settlers people think that America is only as old as when Europeans came over.

The population that got wiped out and displaced by Europeans is still here and needs to be acknowledged. America and Canada aren’t “young” and have more history than most ppl acknowledge.

RT only for the last post. 

[Image description: headlines of WWII bombs either exploding unexpectedly in European towns and cities or being found during road works. /ID]

I went walking on some public footpaths in England and everyone was like “oh this one was a Roman roads, these are so ancient!” and I ended up cranky because there are ancient or at least hundred of year old roads in the Americas, we just don’t pay attention to them because Colonization.

To be clear - I don’t have any issue with OP’s statement (or even any of the reblogs). Im just cranky at the US educational system. And boomers, a little.

Where do you think the oldest shoes in the world are? China? Greece? Iraq?

they’re from Oregon:

Catalog #1-33612 and #1-31699
Sagebrush Sandals: Fort Rock Cave, Oregon, ca. 10,000 years old

(via keltaithecrafty)

18 minutes ago  /  414,072 notes

ceekari:

bnq:

Truth Coming Out of Her Well to Shame Mankind

unmute for the unfathomable sounds of mankind being shamed

(via assassinationtipsforladies)

47 minutes ago  /  18,870 notes  /  Source: twitter.com

a-method-in-it:

ma-du:

It is endlessly incredible to me the degree to which this man always has to go and add something extra. To anyone else — anyone else on earth — making a giant teddy bear sculpture out of chocolate is already a hugely ambitious task. Making it with as realistic as he does even more so.

And then. And THEN!

This madman decides that the teddy bear should also have a zipper with stuffing spilling out. The audacity. It’s so extra. I love it.

(via caffeinatedcripple)

1 hour ago  /  6,532 notes

segretecose:

if i was the dead wife in a male protagonist’s tragic backstory my dead wife hazy memory montage would be me laughing while scrolling my own tumblr blog

(via caffeinatedcripple)

1 hour ago  /  20,378 notes

greelin:

1bedroom/1bath’s being $1800+…… we have to start lighting landlords on fire. i’m so serious

(via pekoemilktea)

1 hour ago  /  16,139 notes

h0useofw0lves:

zegalba:

(via whats-a-bear)

1 hour ago  /  68,264 notes

detailedart:

Clearest picture of Jupiter, from Earth. Isn’t she beautiful? Actually hundreds of photos taken by the Gemini North Telescope in Hawaii, compiled to produce the infrared snap in order to see beyond Jupiter’s hazy atmosphere.

(via deluxeloy)

1 hour ago  /  8,861 notes

bluhahae:

i cant stop thinking about this tweet..it’s so real and true

(via assassinationtipsforladies)

1 hour ago  /  300 notes

insomniac-arrest:

thedreamthieves:

283,000 likes………giant meteor strike the earth rn holy shit. oh my god.

“maybe it’s not your pussy” is such a funny phrase and also correct. People wonder why chores are so hard and it’s like, friends we used to have a whole intergenerational team on this and now Grandma is locked in a beige box. Cooking is hard.

(via vincentghost)

1 hour ago  /  45,798 notes

starlightknight:

SLEEP I want to try

Pillow is my favorite guy

REST I need some more

into bed where I go snore

PHEW I go honk and shoo

have a blanky feel the snooze

Tired system overload

Everybody SLEEEEEEPINGGGG

(via whats-a-bear)

1 hour ago  /  32,979 notes